Stock instore? Check.
Article in local press. Check.
Silver rings on fingers so that you look like a fantasy author? Check.
Dodgy 70s leather jacket? Check.
Had a wash? Check.
Got menthol gum? Check.
Practised smile? Check.
Lock and load. We are ready for this Saturday’s signing (5 Oct 13) for Waterstones Croydon. Better warn the police. (No, not cos a crime is about to be committed; to control the screaming crowds!)