– For too long my kind has been misunderstood and shunned, simply because we are different from you (also you’re probably a little bit scared of us, which is as it should be!).
– For too long our name has been taken in vain and used to describe those who are rude and cowardly (it’s mainly the cowardly bit we have an issue with here)!
– For too long you have misrepresented us. We do NOT eat humans (well, not much anyway). And our hygiene is just as good as the cows and goats with which you consort. Yet you never invite us to any of your parties.
This mistreatment must end. It MUST. It makes many trolls so angry that they lose control of their tempers and go on a rampage, but that is YOUR fault.
I appeal to you therefore to get ejukatid about us trolls. Do the following things at once:
1. Choose a human who can read and have them obtain a copy of our sacred text The Book of Orm.
2. Then make them (maybe entice them with goat meat) begin to spread the word about how nice trolls are, and how all humans (even the less tasty ones) should stop avoiding us. They can spread the word by writing a review on amazon if they don’t have war drums they can play.
3. Then force them (maybe entice them with even more goat meat, especially if you can get hold those dispicable Billy Goats Gruff) to choose another person who can read so that they too can obtain a copy of The Book of Orm.
4. Send this message to other humans – cos all these words took a lot of effort and have given me a headache.
You must do this as otherwise the trolls will get angry and start rampaging, and that will be your fault, puny human!