A film of two halves – Men In Black International #MovieReview #MenInBlack #sciencefiction

What an odd film. The first thirty minutes were entirely meandering, with barely a plot of consequence that could be described. There was no natural rapport between the lead actors (Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson), and the presence of Liam Neeson and Emma Thompson could do nothing to help the entirely flat script. If the movie hadn’t been a xmas present, and if I hadn’t been tipsy and full of bonhommie, I think we would have switched it off… which would have been a shame, cos the later half of the movie is an absolute blast, tightly constructed and strangely compelling. It was as if a different director entirely had suddenly been brought on board. There’s a key ‘regrouping’ scene in the desert, when Chris and Tessa are stranded and forced to confront their issues. Their conversation is entertainingly facilitated by a tiny (CGI) alien known as Pawnie – who up till that point has been the most engaging of all the characters we’ve met. It’s like they’re having a crisis meeting with the script-writers and director, actually. Anyway, it works, things are resolved, we move forward and the ‘ride’ really and literally begins.

The scenario? Er… well, the Hive are threatening to invade (yet again), but there’s a macguffin item they need to get control of first, a macguffin that has fallen into Tessa’s hands (conveniently) but which causes all sorts of baddies to pursue her. Same plot as all the other movies? Yup. There is an added dimension to this movie, however, in that there’s a mole in the Men In Black organisation. We’re kept guessing as to who the mega-baddie really is… and it could well be Chris himself. Or Pawnie. Or Liam. Or Emma. Or Agent C. And, in the second half of the movie, there are some nice jokes (none are belly-busters, but they’re good enough). Overall… the first half of the movie scores 3 out of 10, and the second half scores 8 out of 10. Weird. If you enjoy the MIB franchise, it’s probably worth your while.

Hmm. Might have to drink this responsibly…

…or not.

So, another year all but done. It’s been a strange one, that’s for sure. Spent 8 months in Cornwall, teaching at Falmouth University. But university student recruitment is down 22% in the subject of English… so Jan-August was pretty much the end of that gig. Still, I wrote a murder-mystery novel while I was down there (The Mists of Falmouth), so something may come of that.

Happily, I then got a secure position at Middlesex University (norf Lundun, init), which is lovely place to work. It’s filling a few of the gaps on my academic CV too. I’m leading on the Frankenstein Resurrection mobile phone app development at the moment! I spend four nights a week in a small studio flat in Golder’s Green, and three nights back up in Manchester, with the beloved cat… oh, and Nades.

I’ve got a modest little book coming out in April 2020: The Satanic in Science Fiction and Fantasy. Unless you have a Scrooge-like heart, you might wanna help me out by pre-ordering a copy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Satanic-Science-Fiction-Fantasy-ebook/dp/B07Y7NQVR7/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=satanic+dalton&qid=1577280363&sr=8-1. Oh, go on! It’s flaming xmas. Whatever.

In further news, Kristell Ink have green-lighted The Book of Witches (as a follow up to The Book of Dragons, The Book of Angels, and The Book of Orm… what do you mean you haven’t got copies of ’em?!). I’m delighted to say we’ve got two big-name authors onboard: John Marco (US fantasy author, of whom I was a right fanboy when younger) and Adam Lively! And Charlotte Pang has done a wicked cover:

I love it.

Well, I’d better get back to my roasting chestnuts – don’t want them to burn.

Have a merry ol’ Christmas, y’all.

adz x

 

Seek out the Mandalorian, and your faith will be rewarded #Yoda #themandalorian #Disney

You’ll have heard the fuss about ‘Baby Yoda’ that’s going round. It’s not actually Yoda himself: it’s a young member of his species/race (officially ‘unknown’) who appears in the new Star Wars series (‘The Mandalorian‘) currently appearing on the Disney+ channel. The title of the series refers to a bounty hunter of Jango Fett’s own race (Boba Fett was then cloned from Jango Fett). The Mandalorian goes around the galaxy far, far away, carrying out various (highly dangerous) commissions. The series is set five years after the fall of the Empire, but before the rise of the New Republic; so it neatly bridges the time of chaos and confusion between the old movies and the new ones.

Right, now we’ve got all that out of the way, is all the aforementioned fuss warranted? Yes, it is. Entirely. I’m getting old, and I’m increasingly ‘old school’ in my Star Wars tastes, expectations and demands. I am of the belief that the new kids on the block BROKE Star Wars. Come on, you must have heard (and perhaps seen) how badly the movie Solo did, and how they then cancelled the Boba Fett movie that was planned. And the terrible plotting and character development in Rogue One was quite distressing for me. And I could go on at length – but I think you can already see how tyrannical and purist I am. The good news is The Mandalorian series doffs the finest cap (or helmet) in the galaxy to the old style Star Wars.

Incidental characters from the original trilogy of movies are now front and centre, including the bounty hunter droid (technically IG-11, while I had IG-88 as an action figure when I was a kid, collecting tokens and sending them off), power droids, the Empire spy from the first movie, Jawas, and so on. The plot moves along with zero exposition (maybe less than zero, actually), and there are long sequences without any dialogue, everything relying on evocation and landscape, like in the original movie. All of this is more than just homage: it’s an essential understanding of a form of movie-making that had somehow become lost. Jon Favreau (writer and director) has done an amazing job. He is a masterful movie-maker, of course, as the one behind the original Iron Man movie, and so on.

And then there’s the character of the Mandalorian himself. Monosyllabic. Ruthless. And yet a member of a militaristic religion, with its own codes of honour and conduct. We get fascinating glimpses and suggestions, but the ‘mystery’ of his character is kept superbly poised and compelling – not an easy job when all we ever see is the visor of his helmet. This show is a ruddy TRIUMPH! If you are of the faith, then you will go on a quest to seek out this series. You will find a way and means. May the force be with you.

American sci-fi horror, anyone? – V Wars! #VWars #IanSomerhalder #horror

What with global warming, climate change and everything, the glaciers are melting… and ancient pathogens are being released! Dr Luther Swann and his best buddy Michael Fayne go to a research station in the Antarctic (or the Arctic) to find out why contact with the staff has been lost. All they find is a load of blood and a strange biomass sample… the seal on which is broken! Yikes. The pathogenic virus is loose!

The pathogen triggers the ‘junk DNA’ in certain people, turning them into an ancient race of monstrous semi-humans who drink blood (so you can work out what the ‘V’ in ‘V Wars’ stands for). Then all hell breaks loose (as it usually does).

This show hit Netflix in December 2019. It has a nice tempo, a decent lead actor in Ian Somerhalder (a star of both Lost and The Vampire Diaries, no less) and enough unexpected twists and turns to keep us engaged. The dialogue is often throwaway stuff, but the intelligence of the ‘mystery’ at the heart of the plot largely works.

The show is also interestingly cross-genre. There’s the medical emergency ‘epidemic’ style narrative, a serial-killer detective narrative, a buddy movie narrative, a straight monster movie narrative and the inevitable family drama narrative. They interweave so the whole is greater than the sum of the parts… and it means that when we’re bored with one sub-plot, we don’t have to wait too long till we swap to another one. But what really works is the escalating sense of panic as the virus spreads further and further, and faster and faster, beyond the point of possible containment.

I suspect this show won’t be to all tastes. There’s a surprising and total lack of a supernatural or religious narrative from the start. The absence is a tad jarring… and this all feels more like a zombie series than a blood-sucker series. But there’s also something ‘fresh’ to its style too… fresh like the kills and the blood spatter. I’m enjoying it a good deal! 7 out of 10. Amen.

I’m a believer: Mars! #NationalGeographic #Mars #Netflix #sciencefiction #ElonMusk #SpaceX #

Wow. What a tv series Mars is! So inspiring… and believable. National Geographic have mixed talking heads of the Earth’s top scientists (recorded to 2016) with a great near-future science fiction show in which humans colonise Mars for the first time (2033). The show is entirely grounded, entirely science based and actually happening in the now. There are significant cameos with Elon Musk himself and real footage of the SpaceX program. There are interviews with Neil deGrasse Tyson (US astrophysicist) and Andy Weir (author of the amazing The Martian novel… you know, the Matt Damon film was made from it). But better than that… we have a docudrama of their vision being played out before us. It’s compelling and terrifying drama, as humans living on the edge problem solve because their very lives depend upon it. There’s a definite feel of The Martian‘s narrative here, which is no bad thing, given how much research Mr Weir did to write his novel. What an amazing story of human endeavour and spirit… it’s kind of humbling… also because it helps you realise just how vulnerable a species we are. If you’ve ever liked any sort of sci-fi in your entire life, then you simply must watch this show (two series available) on Netflix. It scores 10 out of 10 from me.

Fans of John Wick will like Polar! #JohnWick #Polar #DarkHorseComics #MadsMikkelsen #Netflix #MattLucas

Mads Mikkelsen plays the assassin-with-a-heart Duncan Vizla in this neo-noir movie version of the Dark Horse comic book. Vizla is finally calling it a day and is about to collect his pension pot of $24m… except his unscrupulous employers (played by the wonderfully hammy Matt Lucas) can’t afford for him to collect. Naughty Matt therefore decides to have Vizla bumped off… to which Vizla takes extreme exception! Fancy taking it so personally!

Mikkelsen does a great job, bringing brooding menace, regret for misdeeds and a deep sadness to Vizla in equal measures. His relationship with the damaged young woman living in the chalet-next-door is particularly tender and believable. And believability/credibility is an entirely essential requirement for this movie, given how the rest of it is so cartoonish (unsurprising in a comic book conversion), anarchic, darkly comedic, full of caricature and bullet-raddled. Indeed, were it not for Mikkelsen, the movie would be far too voyeuristic and immoral for the taste of pretty much all audiences.

The body-count is of course ludicrously high, and Vizla has an all but superhuman ability to survive torture, brutality and heavy ordinance. It’s escapist fare, just like the John Wick movies. And there’s going to be a second movie in the series, according to industry insiders! Hopefully, the tonal balance of the next instalment will be better judged. But Polar is a good popcorn movie if you like this sort of thing. Happy days.

DC finally get it right… and then go and pull the plug!: great Swamp Thing series #swampthing #dccomics #horror

When I heard they’d made the horror tv show of the cult comic book Swamp Thing, I set out to watch it as soon as I could. After all, the legendary Alan Moore cut his teeth with Swamp Thing, along with V for Vendetta, and then Watchmen and so on. Then I had that terrible fear: what if DC had ballsed it up? It would be a crime beyond forgiveness. Let’s face it, DC has a very dodgy track record when it comes to comic book conversions e.g. the fun but very silly Green Arrow, the simply awful Batwoman, the earnest but super-hammy Black Lightning, the laughable movies, etc. Let’s not quibble – if they can get Swamp Thing right, then hope is restored.

So I sat down for the opening episode, waiting for it all to go wrong. The visuals are great – so good you can’t see they’re using stage-sets. The town of Marais set on the edge of the creepy gothic swamp is perfectly rendered and brilliantly atmospheric. And the horror-action sequences are suitably redolent of John Carpenter’s genre-defining The Thing (1982). You can absolutely understand why the opening episode cost $20m on its own! The script, characterisation and acting? Well, the script is on point, working through the detective beats that often come with horror… without actually becoming cliched. We are kept guessing but fed tantalising clues – keeping us hooked. The characterisation is organised in a similar manner to the plot – references to individual but interconnected back-stories without any clumsy exposition. And the casting/acting… is sufficiently good.

What is the scenario? Well, Doctor Abby Arcane Holland of the CDC (The Centers of Disease Control) is called back to her hometown to investigate an epidemic that’s broken out. It seems that something in the swamp is making everyone sick. Anything else would be a spoiler, so just go and watch it if you want to know more.

Yippee, I thought to myself. This is excellent. Well done, DC. Finally! Then I thought to check on the number of episodes and series available… only to learn that the DC Universe streaming service had CANCELLED the show ONE WEEK after the episode aired (31 May 2019). WTF?!

I checked the online reviews… the show had been well received by the fanbase and the critics alike. Even more WTF? What are you playing at DC? You’d finally got it right. Don’t do this to me… to us. It made no sense whatsoever.

Thus, I started to read around the industry speculation as to what had gone wrong. There was no clear consensus. One of the early signs of ‘trouble’ emerged before they’d even finished making the first series – the show got cut from its original 13 episodes to just 10. Aha. The production costs had to have been a touch too high… and that first episode cost $20m, remember. Was DC Universe streaming service ever going to get enough commercial subscribers to make the outlay on Swamp Thing back again? Probably not, especially when insiders began to fear that Swamp Thing might turn out to be a dud (just like all those other DC tv shows and movies). So there was a lack of confidence in the show among its own producers. And, between series, producers have to pay millions to store/warehouse expensive stage-sets… so decisions on a second series have to be made very quickly… even before the first series has finished production. The swampy plot thickens. And then the final issue: the DC Universe streaming service was owned by Time Warner… and Time Warner was taken over by AT&T in 2018. When takeovers occur, ‘economies of scale’, product rationalisation and redundancies ALWAYS follow, to recover a lot of the investment required to secure the takeover, and to maximise profits going forward. Apparently, then, Swamp Thing (but more specifically the DC Universe streaming service) was a victim of this new operating context.

Damn it. In summary, Swamp Thing was artistically successful and a proper hit with audiences. The writers and actors had done a good job. But it wasn’t the writers, actors or fans making decisions about the show. It was the money-men. And the decisions made weren’t made based on quality issues: they were made based on quantity (i.e. the numbers and the profitability). And here’s the rub in today’s rabidly impatient capitalist world – high-quality art will never thrive when it’s judged by numbers alone. Look at how they axed the superb and unsurpassed Firefly series by the mighty Joss Whedon. Look at my own inability to get that next book deal from Gollancz (I’ve only sold 20,000 books, which just isn’t enough, I’m told).

What comes next? Cheaper DC shows, of lower quality. Argh! It feels like we’re going backwards. Yup. Maybe it’s two steps forward, one step back? Nope. They didn’t learn from Firefly, did they. It’s a sorry state of affairs.

The fundamental problem of course is that they still haven’t perfected the business model for streaming services. It’s an ugly fight at the mo, with Apple’s new service, BritBox, BBCistream (in development) and the list goes on. It’s not sustainable, and there will be terrible collateral damage along the way. Why did it have to be the anti-establishment work of Alan Moore, though! The irony is sickening. I feel the rage of the Swamp Thing.

Post script. And I’m not alone in my rage. I have now seen the very sizable fan backlash against DC. DC are alienating the fans so much that the fans will now be hugely wary of starting a show till they know FOR SURE that the second series is a go. If fans become wary of even starting shows, then audiences numbers will be even lower… and it’s a vicious circle/spiral downwards. DC are close to BREAKING themselves entirely. Mark these words.