pineapple spies

Went to the gym this morning. Curiously, on the floor outside the sauna was a sealed tupperware container of pineapple pieces. I went inside the sauna, where there were two men talking. They stopped speaking when I entered. After a minute, one left. Then the other stepped out and came back with the pineapple bits. ‘Do you want some food, mate?’ he asked. ‘No, you’re alright,’ I replied. He finished the pineapple, then left.

Now, that episode was so surreal that it’s easier to believe the men were spies and the pineapple was some sort of identification test/code. Anyway, I got home, only to discover a dish of pineapple pieces in the fridge! Argh! They’re everywhere, watching me. If this is my last ever blog post, then you’ll know what’s happened. You will know the truth! Be careful around saunas and fridges from now on.

Skeleton Key

Top notch supernatural thriller. (It’s not a horror.) It stars Kate Hudson (never a strain on the eye) and John Hurt (who’s great although he only has one speaking line in the whole film). Kate plays a nurse who moves into a big old house in the deep south, ostensibly to see John through his final days. She then begins to suspect that John’s wife is actually slowly killing him, and is somehow using hoodoo (witchcraft) to keep him trapped in his own mind.

The movie is full of all the normal cliches about the deep south (swamps, slavery, etc), but it still builds a decent spooky atmosphere. The real triumph of this film is its ending. Genius. It makes the film linger in the mind for weeks after. Mark my words, you lot, this film is a cult classic. A definite one to see. 8.5/10

75% of writers earn less than £20,000 a year

Kate Pool of the Society of Authors confirmed that new writers could expect an average advance of £10,000 around 20 years ago: “Now they’re lucky to get between £1,000 and £3,000.” Research by the society shows that 75% of writers earn less than £20,000 a year and 46% less than £5,000.

Full article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/jan/16/ian-rankin-tax-incentives-authors

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Brilliant comedy horror. Two hill billies spend all their savings on a rundown vacation retreat in the woods. Arriving at their holiday home, they find a group of college kids camping in the same woods. The brats are convinced the hill billies are trying to kill them, so promptly turn on our hapless heroes and lay seige to their shack. A good number of the college kids die in freakish accidents, convincing those remaining that the hill billies are properly homicidal. All hell duly breaks loose.

Great performances by Alan Tudyk (Firefly,  Dodgeball, V) and Tyler Labine (Reaper) keep the laughs coming. A great spoof, with neat role-reversal – the college kids as the prejudiced baddies and the hill billies as the victims in touch with their feminine side. A 9/10 from me. A must-see.

Onto chapter 8

Halfway through book two (Gateway of the Saviours) now. Running total: 77,000.

Next chapter, Jillan meets the witch.

the demented witch who lives on the corner

Got accosted yesterday by a mad woman accusing me of putting Billy-the-collie-dog’s pooh bags in her grey bin, which I didn’t! She threatened to send some tough people round to my house. I told her I’d get the police on her. Let the Pooh Wars begin!

Empire of the Saviours: book cover revealed!

http://www.gollancz.co.uk/2012/01/on-the-tenth-day-of-christmas/

Listing of publishers of fantasy

New page added to this site under ‘author advice’ on the nav bar. UK and US publishers of fantasy literature, init.

For vanity and its opposite prey on each other

Onto chapter 7 of Gateway of the Saviours, in which the ghost of Saint Azual gets a good kicking. Running total 67,000 words (out of 160,000 or so).

Looks like xmas is pretty much over. Better start using the Wii Fit my sister got me. Better get writing again.

Might write another article for the Gollancz blog: The fall and rise of the vampire. Or I could do a listing of UK fantasy publishers for this site. Hmm.

scifi as a way of life!

Just had another article go live on the Gollancz website. About Brian Aldiss, giant, legend, marvellously-moustachioed geezer.

http://www.gollancz.co.uk/2011/12/sci-fi-as-a-way-of-life/