Creative writing mini-lesson: no.1 ‘shifting narrative perspective’ #FridayMotivation #FridayThoughts #lockdownuk #coronavirus #creativewriting

Is the following passage an example of good or bad writing?:

‘Jack’s stomach turned over. Hate this. Not even sure I want the damn job. Look at these people. The kindly woman leading the interview panel smiled and wondered at Jack’s angry frown.’

Answer: it’s bad. The main problem with it is that the narrative perspective or point of view (POV) in the passage changes/shifts. First we are in Jack’s head, hearing his thoughts, and then we are allowed inside the kindly woman’s head, to be told that she is wondering about Jack’s angry frown. Given that Jack is ‘angry’, he probably wouldn’t think that the woman is ‘kind’ either. So who is telling us she is kind? The woman herself wouldn’t tell someone she was kind, so it must be the author’s voice interrupting/intruding into the scene. If you imagine it as a movie scene, first the camera is with Jack, looking at the ‘kindly’ woman, and then the camera swings around violently to show us Jack’s angry frown. We’d get motion sickness with such a quick change of perspective. When you write a scene, try to make sure it’s told entirely from the main character’s (the protagonist’s) POV, as otherwise it’s disorientating/confusing for the reader.

Quick task

Look at the following passage and try to find the words that are particularly problematic and that represent shifting narrative perspective or intrusive author voice.

‘The sailor wove his way along the quay – in part because the crowds were thick, in part because that was the way his sea-legs moved, and in part because of his recent visit to the inn. A filthy, suspicious-looking, old crone called out to him and – being a helpful and trusting sort – he made his way over to her.’

If you’re not sure of the answer or would like to check your answer, please do feel free to email me (Adam): adz_d2003 @ yahoo.co.uk – deleting the two spaces either side of the @ sign.

If you enjoyed this mini-lesson, do share it with others. I’ll be posting a new lesson every day (Monday-Friday), to help people who are stuck at home because of the coronavirus situation. These mini-lessons will give you a useful daily routine, and might just keep you sane! Stay safe.

Shock and satire in The Hunt #MovieReview @TheHunt @HilarySwank

You’ve been kidnapped. You wake up gagged, in the middle of countryside. There are others in a similar state to you. You come together in the middle of a field where there’s a crate of guns. You free and arm yourselves, and then the snipers start picking you off one-by-one. You realise you’re are being hunted for sport!

It’s a reality TV show sort of start to the new movie called The Hunt. And it’s a very clever start, as we are not sure who we’re meant to be rooting for. The narrative perspective starts with a group of the kidnapped people, and we instinctively root for the underdog, but they’re all killed off. We follow more of the kidnapped, but then they’re all killed too. It’s properly disorienting… and deliberately so. The viewer feels as turned-around and frantic as those being hunted. It’s immersive and engaging. We implicitly understand how we, ourselves, are manipulated and abused by the rich in society. And it makes us angry, and self-righteous. We might long for revenge, and blood, ourselves.

We come to learn that rich, left-wing elites have decided to teach the right-wing working-class of America a lesson, almost as a form of self-defence. The satire about the entirely partisan and self-defeating politics of modern America may be far from subtle, but it’s certainly effective, and darkly humorous/ironic. And hugely enjoyable, come to that!

There have been a fair few tepid and negative reviews of this movie, but it works extremely well in my opinion. Some have accused it of opting out of any sort of positive morality (in the sort of way South Park used to take the piss out of everyone and every thing)… but that’s to miss the movie’s point, really. The Hunt apportions blame to both sides of the divide. It describes the current state of the factionalised and polarised US, offering clear messages about what’s actually important at the same time. And the movie does understand good from bad: there is no doubt which characters lack morality, and which have been done an injustice.

The reveal (and casting) of the big baddie at the end is perfect. And the very end scenes of the film are a triumph. And it’s also female-empowered. I’d definitely recommend it. It scores an 8 out of 10 from me.

Satan’s cat! #Caturday #Catsoftwitter #satanwaits #fantasy #sciencefiction

Cleopatra the cat has just picked up arcane Satanic secrets from my new book. She is now ready to tyrannise all humans (and mice)! Run for your lives! Or arm yourself with your own secrets by picking up a copy here!

Saddle up! Eurovision is nearly here! #Eurovision2020 @eurofans_esc

This year’s final is set for Saturday 16 May (8pm onwards). It’s coming to us from Rotterdam, the Netherlands (last year’s winners).

What’s the British entry like it? Who even is it? James Newman, with a song called ‘My Last Breath’. Let’s hope it’s not his last breath… cos otherwise he’ll ‘die on stage’! LOL.

But is it any good? Well, the promo video starts with too much heavy breathing from a dirty old man, if you ask me. But there are some nice hounds in some sort of aspen forest – pretty enough. Then young James pops up and starts rasping away – not surprised – it all looks a bit chilly to be honest, although it doesn’t deter the dirty old man from getting his clothes off. Beyond that, there are some very odd lyrics like ‘If we were deep sea divers, I’d give you my last breath.’ [Well, we’d both be dead then, wouldn’t we?] The song is blandly inoffensive, and then there’s a massive musical build based on a chorus of going woah ooo ooo ooo woah. By the numbers, my friends, by the numbers. Formulaic in the extreme.

Does it matter? It’ll be about Brexit maybe… and countries that still want to trade with us. Remember, last year, only Ireland gave us points. Pray, therefore, that you don’t get the UK in the sweepstake.

If you wanna judge the song for yourself, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iS-lV909T4. Be warned, though: once you’ve heard it, you won’t be able to unhear it.

Whisky beer recommended! @innisandgunn #whisky

Here’s a curious one. Had a tin of this quaffable stuff yesterday. It’s beer that is aged in a bourbon barrel. And the ale actually has a whisky note! Sounds horrible, right? Actually, I really rather liked it. Hurrah!

Doctor Who and the Grand Conspiracy #BBC #JodieWhittaker #DrWho #DoctorWho #SylvesterMcCoy

Rumours abound that there is a Sylvester McCoy moment going on with this latest series of Doctor Who. Apparently, there are those who no longer want the Doctor Who albatross round their necks. People are saying that the episodes are sooo bad that it can’t be bad luck or accidental. School kids of 12 that we know are complaining about the quality of script-writing. 12! Even children can spot it’s awful.

I was about to watch tonight’s episode, but the missis turned on me. ‘No.’ Adam frowned: ‘What do you mean? I have to review it for my site.’ Nadine shakes her head and replies, ‘I can’t do it. It’s THAT bad. It’s not even worth reviewing.’

Wow. It set me pondering. The rumour-mill has been saying they’re going ‘full Sylvester’ on it. I can hardly believe it. Why would the BBC do such a thing? A range of reasons, according to t’internet. The BBC has enough Doctor Who content already. The younger generation are starting to watch the old stuff on Netflix. The BBC can ill afford to be making expensive new series when its funding is under threat… and when no one’s really watching terrestrial anymore (oh, the irony).

So… damn. Can it really be the end? I’m insisting we watch next week’s though, cos it’s the Villa Diodati and Frankenstein! Gotta be good, right? It’d ruddy better, is all I’m saying.

The best high-concept science fiction around right now is Picard (Locutus of Borg)! #Picard #StarTrek #Locutus

If you haven’t started watching Star Trek: Picard on Amazon Prime yet, then you’re missing out. This is not the glib, reassuring Star Trek of the Next Gen years, nor the silliness of the recent Discovery series. No. Star Trek: Picard is proper high-concept science fiction. Hallelujah. Rejoice! All if forgiven. There is a subtlety to the whole undertaking that also sets the series apart from the rest: the intertextuality (or metatextuality) of Patrick Stewart being so old (79!) and taking part in possibly his last series, just as Picard is taking part in his last mission. It’s so poignant and resonant – and we really don’t want it to end, do we? – that every second is tragically gripping. And Stewart has finally been given a script that his towering talent and experience deserves (he’s a Shakespearean actor, after all)!!!

Picard is visited by a young girl who has been sent by Data. Data is dead! No!!! Turns out: the girl is his daughter! (But how?) Then the girl is murdered in front of Picard by some black ops team. WTF is going on? The show, brilliantly, gives us clues but refuses to provide clunky exposition. Michael Chabon, thank you: thank you for knowing the beats of suspense and genre. Finally we have a decent writer! Could you write some Doctor Who next? It would really help us out.

The Romulans have been displaced. Romulus has been destroyed. Cue celebrations! Right? Hmm. Genocide is bad. Right? But the fugitive Romulans are still just as subversive as ever. Bastards.

Picard realises he’ll have to come out of his self-imposed retirement – he owes it to Data – as it seems there’s a second daughter… who has been built upon his original code… meaning that a part of Data might still exist… possibly to be reconstituted????

But the Federation is no longer a friend to Picard. It’s political ethos has shifted – so it’s at odds with the too-tolerant nature of Picard. Or have the Romulans subverted the Federation with spies, etc?

And the Romulans have now salvaged a wrecked Borg Cube!!!! The Cube is like a cosmic dice, cos things are looking very dicey! LOL.

The Return of Locutus of Borg!

Come on, you know you want it.